Saving 51
by JessicaL27
Summary: Shay and Mills are trapped after the explosion in the season finale. Can Severide and the rest of 51 rescue them in time?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Dawson, Shay, over here," Severide yelled as they entered the burning building. "We have a boy with a spinal cord injury.

Just as they got to the boy, they heard Mills scream from over by the stairs. "I need some help over here!"

"Go," Dawson told Shay. "I can take care of the boy."

Shay ran toward Mills who was on the stairs. "We've got a woman who's having trouble breathing," he said, as they ran up the stairs.

"Is she having any pain?" She couldn't hear his answer over the rumblings of the building. The stairs started to sway back and forth, and then everything went black.

The first thing Severide heard was Dawson screaming his name. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, wincing as he stood up. "I'm a little sore- got hit by some concrete, but I'm fine."

The radios started going off, with the chief telling everyone who was able to walk to get out immediately.

"We have to get out," Dawson said. "Before this building completely collapses."

As the two of them reached the outside, Casey pulled Dawson into his arms. "Thank God," he said. "I wanted to look for you, but they made me leave," he said, pointing to the extra emergency workers there.

"I'm fine," she said.

"How is everyone?" Severide said.

"Everyone's fine as far as I know. Munch hurt his back so they took him to the ER, but they don't think it's serious."

"Hey Dawson," Cruz yelled, "Where's Mills?"

"He's not out here?"

"I thought he was with you."

"He was with Shay," Dawson said. "They were on the stairs. Oh God!"

That sent Severide into panic mode. "Shay!" He screamed, running around the scene trying to see if she was out there. "Hermann," he yelled, "Have you seen Shay?"

"No. Is she okay?"

"I think she's still in there."

"Severide!" Dawson shouted. "No one's seen Mills or Shay. They're still in there."

"I'm going back in."

She nodded. She and Severide didn't have very much in common, but they both cared very much for the blonde paramedic.

He almost made it into the building before Casey stopped him. "It's not safe to go in there."

"We have to! Mills and Shay are still in there."

"Chief said-"

"I don't care. Casey, she's my best friend. Please."

"Fine, but I'm going in with you."

"You don't have to."

"You think you can rescue them by yourself? No way."

"I'm going in, too," Cruz said, running to meet them.

As soon as the three of them walked in, Severide's heart sank. The set of stairs that Mills and Shay were on had collapsed. They were buried.

"Dear God," Cruz whispered.

"Shay! Mills!" Severide screamed as the three firemen ran over to the rubble.

"Chief- we need more men in here now!" Cruz said over the radio.

"We have to move this now if we have any chance of getting them out alive," Casey said. "We can't wait for more men."

As they went to work Severide prayed that they were still alive. He couldn't lose Shay. He just couldn't.

When Mills regained consciousness, he felt pain in his shoulder. When he tried to move his arm, the pain intensified and shot down his arm, but he forgot all about his shoulder when he looked over and saw Shay.

She was still unconscious and he leg was pinned under a pile of rock and rubble. "Shay," he yelled. When she didn't respond, he felt for a pulse. He sighed with relief when he felt one, but it was weak. They needed to get out.

He crawled as far as he could, but it wasn't very far. There was rubble blocking his path, and with his shoulder throbbing he knew he couldn't move it. He was trapped.

He crawled back to Shay, but she was still unconscious. He knew no one could hear them, but he started yelling anyway. "Casey! Severide! Anyone! Help us!

Nothing. They were all alone.

"Please God," he said, "Please don't let us die."

Thanks for reading! I hope everyone liked it. I got the idea to write this story after the season finale. Shay and Mills are my favorite characters so I decided to write something that featured both of them. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Shay knew something was seriously wrong before she even opened her eyes. Her head ached, her back hurt, and pain surged through her leg. When she opened her eyes, she started panicking. Where was she?

Mills was sitting next to her and he noticed her starting to wake up. "Hey," he whispered, moving closer to her, "Don't try to move, okay?"

"Mills? Where are we?"

"The building we were in exploded. We were on the stairs, remember?"

She nodded.

"How much pain are you in?"

"My leg hurts pretty bad."

"Yeah. There's a piece of rubble on top it. I don't want to move it unless I have to, okay?"

"Okay. Are you hurt?"

"I think my shoulder is dislocated, but I'm okay."

"Mills," she said grabbing his hand. "Do you think everyone else is okay?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I hope so."

"Do you think," she said, her voice starting to crack, "we're going to die?"

He knew at that point he had to be strong for her. "I know that if our guys are fine then they are doing everything they can to find us and get us out of here."

She wipes some tears away from her face. "I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be stronger than this. I'm a paramedic."

"Well usually you're the one helping people not trapped in a collapsed building."

She smiled. "Yeah. I just wish I knew if Kelly was okay."

"Severide? I'm sure he's fine. He probably has a team all lined up to save us."

"He's not indestructible. Although he thinks he is."

"No, but I know you're his best friend, and he's probably going crazy not knowing if you're okay."

"I hope so. He likes you, too, you know."

"He has to like me. I'm on his squad."

She shook her head. "No, it's more than that. He fought for you to be on squad. He saw something in you. I think you remind him of himself."

Great, he thought to himself. Just when he found out he was doing something right, it was when he was trapped and could be dying.

"Tell me about your friendship with Severide," he said.

"Really? We could die down here and that's what you want to talk about?"

"Well, I mean, I would suggest we have sex, but since you're a lesbian..."

She started laughing. "You're a good guy, Peter Mills. I'm sorry I didn't get to know you better." She winced, her leg was starting to hurt more.

"Is your pain getting worse?"

She nodded. "It's bad, isn't it?"

"Hey, look at me," he said, squeezing her hand, "Don't think about your leg, okay? We're going to get out of here. Now tell me about your friendship with Severide.

Shay knew Mills was just trying to get her to think about something besides her leg. She knew she was seriously injured especially because he wouldn't answer her questions about the injuries, but she humored him. She told him about how she trusted Severide more than anyone. She loved him. She hoped more than anything that he wasn't hurt and that we would save them.

"Where are you, Kelly?"

While Mills and Shay were fighting to hang on, Severide an of the crew continued to remove debris and rubble in order to reach them.

"Damn it!" Severide screamed. "This is taking way too long. Cruz, how are you all over there?"

"We're trying, Severide. We've almost got a pathway, but it's small."

After a few more minutes they were able to make the pathway a little bigger. Severide, Cruz, and Casey headed down to look for their missing friends.

"Call out!" Severide yelled. "Shay, Mills, anyone! Call out!"

The three of them kept going, but had no luck. The radios had only been working some of the time, but right then they could clearly hear the Chief giving them orders.

"Severide, Casey, Firehouse 51! Get out now! This is an order!"

"Severide," Casey said, in a very sympathetic tone, "We've been looking for a while. At this point it would be a miracle if they were-"

"No! Don't even think that. Shay's still alive. I know she is! If you all want to get out then fine! Go! But I'm staying."

"I'm staying," Cruz said.

"Chief, sorry, but we're staying," Casey said on the radio.

"Thanks," Severide told him.

"You were right. We can't just leave them here."

That was when they heard something.

"What was that?" Cruz asked.

"Mills?" Casey screamed. "Mills, was that you? Call out!"

There wasn't a response, but they heard another sound and it was definitely a man's voice.

"Come on!" Severide said, already heading down the direction that the voice was coming from. "Radio everyone and tell them we may have found them!"

"Hang on, Shay," Severide said to himself. "We're coming for you. I promise I won't let you down."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"I'm so tired," Shay whispered. The amount of blood loss from her leg was really starting to affect her.

"I know, but you gotta stay awake," he said, leaning down to brush the stray hairs off her face.

"Mills, I don't think I'm going to make it. Will you promise me something?"

"You are going to make it."

"But if I don't I need you to promise me that you'll tell Kelly that I love him. Please?"

His heart broke a little hearing how scared she was. "Okay. I promise I'll tell him, but you have to just try to hang on a little while longer. Besides, Severide'll probably kill me if I don't get you out of here."

She gave a little smile, but then her eyes started to close. Her eyelids were getting heavy and it was increasingly harder to stay awake.

"Shay!" Mills yelled. "You have to stay awake. Hey, what's your favorite food?"

"I don't know. I like dessert. And if I get out of here I'm going to need a drink."

He laughed. "Okay. When we get out of here I will cook you the greatest meal ever."

Mills looked up suddenly. He swore he heard something.

"Did you hear that?"

Shay nodded.

"I'm going to go see what's happening. Maybe our guys are here."

"Okay," she whispered, her eyes starting to close.

"No, no, no, Shay. You have to stay awake. I'll be right back."

He started crawling toward the voices. "Casey, Severide, someone help us!" He yelled desperately. Shay wasn't going to last much longer, and even though he hadn't let it show, pain was shooting down his arm.

"Mills!" He heard someone yell. It sounded like Casey.

"Casey! We're down here!"

Then he heard Severide. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hold on Mills! We're going to get you out in a minute. We just gotta move this debris that's in the way.

It felt like a lifetime, but the rubble finally came down and Mills came face to face with Severide, Casey, and Cruz.

"I don't think I've ever been so happy to see anyone before in my life," Mills said.

"Are you hurt Mills?" Casey asked.

"I think I dislocated my shoulder. I'm okay, it's Shay that needs help."

"Where is she?"

"She's back here. Her leg is pinned. It's bad," he said.

"Let's go!" Severide yelled at the others. "Let's get her out of here."

"Shay," Mills said, once they finally reached her. "Look who decided to come rescue us?"

"Kelly?" She whispered.

"Hey," he said, leaning down to stroke her face. "You just need to hang on for a few more minutes. We're going to get you out of here."

"Severide," Casey said, "We need to get this off her leg now!"

He took his jacket off and put it over Shay. "Mills, keep talking to her. It's going to be loud, okay? And it may hurt, but I promise we'll get you out."

She nodded. Her eyelids were so heavy. She was fighting, but she really wanted to pass out.

"Dear God," Severide said looking at Shay's leg. There was blood everywhere. "Okay, here we go." He tried to get the debris off, but his hands were shaking. He rescued people everyday, but this was different. His best friend's life was on the line.

"Severide," Casey said. "Do you want me to-"

"I got it!" He screamed.

"Let me do it!" Cruz said impatiently. He was able to free Shay's leg, and it looked even worse now.

"Kelly," she whispered.

Severide instantly was by her side. "It's okay, Shay. We just have to get you on a backboard. Everything's going to be fine."

Except she knew it wasn't. She knew by his tone and by the way he was shaking that it wasn't okay. And that was the last thing she remembered. The pain and the blood loss was finally too much for her and she slipped into unconsciousness.

"Shay!" Mills and Severide said at the same time.

"She's out! We have to move now!" Severide yelled.

Capp, Otis, and few other emergency workers had brought down emergency equipment to help rescue Shay.

"Mills, you go first and then we'll get Shay," Severide commanded.

Mills was able to get out fairly easily with the help of his fellow firefighters. When he reached the outside, he was greeted by Dawson and the Chief.

"Get in the ambulance, Mills," the Chief commanded.

"I'm okay. Really."

"You have a dislocated shoulder, probably a concussion, and who knows what else. You're going to the hospital."

He finally admitted defeat, but he went to another ambulance. He wanted Dawson to stay and help Shay.

The firemen finally reached the outside of the building carrying Shay on the backboard.

"Dawson, we need your help over here!" Severide said as soon as he saw her.

Dawson ran over and they all guided Shay onto a gurney. "How long has she been unconscious?" She asked as she started an IV for Shay.

"I don't know... Not that long... But she has massive blood loss... And her leg..." He couldn't even form words. He was emotionally drained.

"Severide, I need you to focus. Help me get her into the ambo." It was taking everything she had not to break down and he wasn't helping. Shay needed her to be at her best right then.

"I'm going with her," he insisted, hopping in the ambulance with Dawson.

"Fine," she said. There wasn't time for an argument.

"We'll meet you there!" Casey said, closing the ambulance door.

"Go!" Dawson screamed at the paramedic driving the ambulance.

Severide grabbed Shay's hand careful not to disturb the alarms and wires that Dawson had set up.

"Shay, you're almost there. Just hang on a few more minutes and then you'll get all the help that you need."

His eyes were full of tears, and he could tell Dawson was fighting back tears, too. Then the alarms starting going off.

Dawson locked eyes with him and he knew she was just as scared as he was.

"What's wrong with her?"

"Her BP's falling. She needs a blood transfusion. Hurry up!" She screamed at the ambulance driver.

"We're here," he said, pulling into the ambulance bay.

"You made it, Shay," Dawson whispered to her. "Now keep fighting. We need you."

Severide reluctantly let go of Shay's hand as Dawson and the other paramedic wheeled her into the ER. He heard Dawson rattling off medical terms, but he couldn't concentrate anymore. His legs gave out and he collapsed on the floor of the ER. He had been fighting back tears all day, and he finally gave into his emotions. He put his head into his hands and cried for his best friend.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Every minute that passed seemed like an hour to Severide. He was stuck in the ER waiting room while the doctors worked on Shay. Casey and the rest of the guys were there, but no one was talking. Everyone was exhausted and scared for Shay.

Dawson joined everyone in the ER after talking with the doctors. "They're giving her blood transfusions. They want to stabilize her before taking her to surgery."

"Any word on Mills?" Casey asked.

"They're doing surgery on his arm, but it's minor so he should be in recovery soon."

"Well at least that's good news," Cruz said.

Dawson took a seat between Casey and Severide. She squeezed Severide's arm. "She's gonna be fine."

He nodded, but didn't say anything. He didn't want to talk to Dawson. All he wanted to do was see Shay. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and that she needed to pull through this. She was the only person he needed.

A few minutes later the ER doctor gave them an update. "We've stabilized her, and we're going to take her to surgery soon to try to repair her leg. We're hopeful we can save it."

"Wait, you hope you can save her leg?" Severide asked, standing up to face the doctor.

"Yes. There's a lot of damage-"

"She's a paramedic. She needs her leg!" He screamed.

"Hey Severide, calm down," Casey said, putting his hand on Severide's shoulder. "Yelling isn't going to help her right now."

"Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded. "You can go in for a few minutes before we take her up."

When he walked into the ER his heart stopped for a minute. She was pale and lifeless. If the heart monitor wasn't beeping he wouldn't have known she was alive.

"We've got to stop meeting like this," he said, sitting down next to her. "I hate that you keep getting hurt. I hate that I haven't been able to help you."

He wiped the tears away from his face and grabbed her hand. "I know that this is selfish, but I need you to pull through this. I need you in my life. We all need you."

He took a deep breath before he continued. "And I promise that if you pull through this that I will be there for you every step of the way. I'll help you with the physical therapy, and I'll help you get through the pain. Anything you need I'll be there."

He was interrupted by the medical team coming to move her to the surgery.

"I love you," he said, kissing her forehead before they took her away. He returned to the waiting room with everyone else.

"They took her to surgery," he said to the others.

"Do you want some coffee?" Casey asked.

He shook his head. "I need to get out of here."

"You're just going to leave?" Dawson asked.

"Sitting here isn't going to help Shay. I need some air. Will you let me know if you hear anything?"

Casey nodded.

"But Severide-" Dawson started to yell, but Casey stopped her.

"Let him go. He needs space."

Mills was out of surgery not long after Shay's surgery started. He was groggy, and it took him a minute to remember where he was. When he opened his eyes the first thing he saw was Dawson sitting beside his bed.

"Gabby. Hey."

"Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Groggy," he said trying to sit up. "Why are you here? I mean, not that I'm not happy, but I thought you'd be with Shay."

"She's in surgery. It sounds like it's going to be a while."

"How is she?"

She shook her head. "They're trying to save her leg, but even if they can save it, she's looking at months of physical therapy." She started crying and Mills put his one good hand on top of hers.

"And Severide... He's supposed to be her best friend, but he just left. Said he needed space or whatever."

"You should probably give him a break. He's really worried. Don't tell him I told us this, but he couldn't pull the debris off her leg. He was shaking too badly."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Cruz had to do it. I've never seen him like that before."

"Were you all scared?"

"Yeah. I was really scared. My arm hurt so bad, but I couldn't let Shay know that. I kept telling her everything was going to be okay and that she just had to stay awake. But I was scared that no one was going to come or if they did come Shay would have already..." He stopped. He couldn't finish that sentence.

This time it was Dawson's turn to squeeze his hand. "You did good, Mills. You stayed calm and you helped Shay stay calm, too. You helped her fight. I really don't know if she would have made it without you. Thank you."

Cruz and Otis entered the hospital room then interrupting Dawson's speech.

"Hey, they said that you could have a few visitors, but we can come back later," Cruz said.

"No, it's fine," Dawson getting up. "I'll be back later."

Mills nodded. "Let me know when you hear something about Shay."

Dawson walked back to the waiting room and returned to her seat next to Casey. She out her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her.

"How's Mills?"

"He's pretty groggy and on a lot of pain meds, but the doctors said he'll be fine. Cruz and Otis are keeping him company."

"Why don't you go home? You need your rest so you can start your first shift as a firefighter."

She shook her head. "No."

"Come on, Gabby. I'll call the second we hear something."

"No, I mean, I don't need my rest because I'm not going to be a firefighter. I'm not leaving 51."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Casey was confused at Dawson's announcement. Casey had never really wanted her to become a fireman, but she was determined. Now all of the sudden she had changed her mind?

"Dawson, I know you're worried about Shay, but shouldn't you think about this?"

"I don't need to think about it. Shay is going to be gone for months- possibly longer, and Mills is going to out for a while, too. I don't think it's the best idea for this house to lose a third person."

"But we'll be okay."

She shook her head. "That's not the only reason I decided. This accident made me realize that I don't want to leave 51. At least not now. I want to be with you, and Shay, and everyone else in that house."

"Well I'm selfishly glad you want to stay. But make sure this is really what you want before you tell Chief."

"I think he has bigger things to worry about right now. Hey, has anyone seen Severide?" She asked, changing the subject.

"Not since he left earlier."

"I'm going to go look for him. I feel bad for snapping at him."

"You don't have to look for me," Severide said, walking back into the waiting room. "Any news?"

"No," Dawson said. "Severide, about earlier, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he said. He really didn't care about Dawson at the point in time. It just wanted to know if Shay was going to be okay.

Finally, the doctor finally came out to the waiting room.

"We were able to save her leg," he said.

Everyone in the waiting room breathed heavy sighs of relief.

"So she's going to be okay?"

"She's going to have to be monitored closely for infection for the next few days, and she's going to need physical therapy for the next few months, but yes, she's going to be fine."

"Can I see her?"

"She's still unconscious, but you can see her for a few minutes."

He started to walk down the hall, but the Chief told him to wait.

"It's been a long day for everyone. I want everyone to go home and get some rest."

"But Chief, I want to go see Shay."

"You can see her for 10 minutes. And then you're going home. I mean it, Kelly, I will be out here keeping time."

"But Chief I wanted to visit Shay, too," Dawson said.

"She's going to be here for a while. You can come back tomorrow. When Shay wakes up she's going to want you all rested."

Severide walked down to Shay's room and carefully opened the door and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"Hey, Shay," he said, stroking her hair gently. "I can't stay very long tonight. The Chief said I needed to go home and get some sleep. He should know that I don't need sleep; I want to be here with you."

He looked at her body. Besides her leg, she had bruises and scrapes all over her body. He winced. He couldn't believe that her body had gone through the trauma that it did. She was going to be in pain when she woke up, and he knew that the physical therapy was going to be tough. It was going to be a challenge both physically and mentally.

"I just wanted to say that I'm so grateful that you pulled through the surgery. They saved your leg, and I promise you I am going to keep my word. I am going to be here with you through everything."

He looked at the time, and he knew he had to leave or Boden would drag him out of there.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he whispered. "I love you."

The Chief was waiting in the lobby for him. "I was about to come looking for you."

"I know, Chief. I just feel so bad leaving her by herself."

"She'll be fine. You'll be much more useful to her with a full night's sleep."

"Hey, Chief," he said, walking out the door, "I wanted to talk to you about taking time off. Shay's going to need a lot of help for the next couple of weeks, and I want to be there for her."

Boden nodded. "Let me know how much time off you want, and I'll get the paper work together."

"Thanks."

"Now go home, Severide. That's an order."

When Shay woke up she was very groggy and her throat hurt. She was confused as to where she was.

Mills was sitting in the chair next to her bed when he saw her open her eyes. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty," she said.

He grabbed a glass of water for her, and after she drank it he asked her if she remembered anything.

"We were in a building, and it collapsed."

He nodded.

"I take it we made it out alive. Either that or heaven's not as great as I thought it would be."

He smiled. "Are you in pain?"

She shook her head. "Whatever drugs they gave me are working great."

"Enjoy them while you can."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. The doctors said I'll be released tomorrow. I'll spend a few weeks in the cast and then be as good as new."

"Good. I'm glad. I wonder when I'll be able to go home."

"I think you should just focus on resting right now."

Shay could tell by his tone and his face that she wasn't getting the whole story. "Okay, what aren't you telling me?"

"Let me get a doctor. They can explain it better than I can."

"Your leg was injured pretty badly. Luckily they were able to save it, but you're going to have to go through extensive physical therapy."

"Are you saying that I'm not going to be able to be a paramedic anymore?"

"I'm saying that it's going to be hard. But I know that if anyone can get through this it's you," he said, squeezing her arm reassuringly. "You fought like hell to survive yesterday. Physical therapy's just another obstacle."

"Thanks. Not just for the pep talk, but for everything. I wouldn't have made it out without you." She started to yawn, and she tried to hide it, but Mills saw it.

"I'm going to let you get some rest."

"Hey, do you know where Severide is?"

"Chief made everyone go home. I heard Severide wanted to stay, but the Chief wanted everyone to get some sleep. Do you want me to call him?"

"No, that's okay. He needs sleep especially after yesterday." She yawned again.

"Looks like you need some sleep, too. I'll come back later to check on you."

As he was walking out of room, he heard her yell his name.

"Yes?"

"I haven't forgotten your promise to me. I believe it was that if I made it out alive then you'd cook me something? You should be thinking about what you're going to cook."

He smiled. "I'll get right on that. Now get some sleep."

After she was sure he was gone she started crying. Her body had been through so much, and she was so scared that she wasn't going to recover.

"What if I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am?" She said to herself before finally drifting off to sleep.

Hope you all are still enjoying this story. This chapter was kind of a filler. I promise it will pick up the pace next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The day was full of visitors for Shay. It seemed like every one from Firehouse 51 stopped by to visit her except Severide. She didn't know where her best friend was, but she was exhausted. She had just fallen asleep when she heard the door open.

She opened her eyes and saw the guy she had been waiting all day to see.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey. I didn't mean to wake you. I can come back later."

"No, don't you dare think about leaving. Come here," she said, pulling him into a hug.

"I would have been here sooner, but I stopped by the Chief's office to fill out some paperwork. I'm going to take some time off."

"Why?"

"Well, my best friend almost died, and I thought I would help her recover."

"Kelly, you do not have to take time off because of me."

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. You're going to need help for the first few weeks, and I want to be there for you."

She smiled. "Thank you."

"The Chief said he would come by tomorrow for you to sign some disability paperwork."

She sighed. "Disability. Well I guess I knew that was coming."

"Yeah I know, but it's just temporary. We'll get you back to firehouse soon."

"I don't know, Kelly. Everyone's saying that it's going to be a long road."

"It will be hard, but I promise that you are going to be okay."

"I love you. Thanks for always being here for me."

"I love you, too. How are feeling? And don't say fine. It's me. I can tell if you're lying."

"The drugs that they gave me after surgery have worn off, but they still have me on some pain killers. I'm in some pain, but it's manageable."

"Really?"

"Yes. I would tell you if I was miserable. I am tired though."

"Why don't you go to sleep?"

"Okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm staying here."

"Kelly-"

"You are not arguing with me. You almost died, Shay. I'm not leaving."

"Okay," she said as she drifted off to sleep. She wouldn't tell Severide this, but she felt better knowing that he was with her. He made her feel safe.

Severide spent the next weeks planning for her to come home. He moved some things from her room downstairs and made the couch a makeshift bed for her. It wasn't perfect, but it would have to do.

The day she was supposed to come home, he woke up extra early just to make sure everything was ready. When he was getting ready to to leave, he heard a knock at the door.

"Mills, hey, what are you doing here?"

"I was on my way to work, and I wanted to see if you needed anything."

"Back to work already?"

"Yeah, it's my first day back. I was finally cleared."

"That's great. Well I think we're okay for now. Dawson brought food by last night so the fridge is stocked. But thanks for checking."

He nodded. "I promised Shay I would cook her a meal. Whatever she wants. So whenever you want a break or want to go some where, let me know and I'll come over and cook and keep her company."

"I will."

"Hey Severide, I never got a chance to thank you for getting us out of that building. You saved my life."

"You don't have to thank me. It's just part of the job."

"But still. Thanks."

"I actually wanted to thank you, too. I don't think Shay would have made it without you."

"She's strong. I didn't know how much of a fighter she was until we were in there."

"She is strong." He looked at his watch and knew he needed to get going. "I'm sorry, Mills, but I gotta head to the hospital. But thanks for stopping by. And I mean it, Mills, you really helped Shay in that building. You saved my girl. Thank you."

He held his hand out, and Mills shook it. The two squad members now had a connection, and Mills was glad the Lieutenant approved of him.

"Good luck on your first day back. Don't let Capp give you too much trouble."

"I won't. Tell Shay that I'm glad she's coming home."

Shay was so happy to be heading home. She was tired of the hospital and she missed her own bed. She was bored, too. All she had accomplished was being able to walk with crutches. She couldn't wait to start physical therapy and then get back to the firehouse. She didn't care what anyone said- she would be a paramedic again.

When Severide brought her home, she was overwhelmed. There were flowers and cards from everyone at the firehouse, and Kelly had made a bed on the couch. He had set up a table with some of her favorite movies and books.

"You really didn't have to do this," she said. "I can walk up the stairs. You may have to help me, and it could take me 10 minutes, but I can do it."

"Yeah, I know, but I thought it would be easier especially if I'm not here."

"Come sit down," he said, leading her to the couch.

"Thank you."

"No problem. Do you want something to eat? Food? Ice cream?"

"Maybe later. I'm tired. Do you want to watch tv?"

"Sure. He turned the tv to one of their favorite shows, and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm so glad you're home," he said, wrapping his arm around her. "Mills stopped by today."

"Really?"

"He said he owes you a dinner."

"Oh yeah. I thought he would forget. He said that if I stayed awake and made it out of that building then he would cook." She looked up so she was eye level with Kelly. "I didn't think I was going to make it, but Mills took care of me. He kept me awake... And then you came."

"I thanked Mills when he came over, but remind me next time to give him a hug.

She laughed. "He was good. He kind of reminded me of you."

"Next time we're in a situation like that I'm not leaving your side. I can't go through that again. I can't lose you.

"You're not going to lose me." She adjusted herself so that he head was again on his chest. "Thank you for taking care of me. I love you."

"I love you, too."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Shay knew that physical therapy would be hard, but she really wasn't prepared for how grueling it would be. It wasn't just physical pain that she went through either. The therapy was so much work, and she felt like she wasn't getting anywhere. Everyone was telling her she was making so much progress, but she just felt like they were telling her that so she wouldn't feel depressed.

The worst thing about therapy was that Severide was there. He came to all of her therapy sessions, and she felt terrible that he was wasting his life watching her learn to walk again. Luckily he was going back to work the next day so she figured this session would be the last one he came to.

"Ready to go?" He asked as she gathered her stuff together.

"Yeah, I guess," she said.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." She wasn't fine, and he knew it, but he didn't press it. He knew physical therapy wore her out.

She didn't say a word on the ride home. When they got home she announced she was tired and was going to lie down.

"Shay, wait, is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just tired."

"You've barely spoken to me these last few days. What's going on?"

"I'm fine. Really."

"You're not fine!"

"My leg hurts, Kelly! I'm in pain all the time! Are you happy?"

"No, Shay, that doesn't make me happy."

"I'm just so tired. Tired of my leg hurting. Tired of not being able to do anything. And I'm tired of only taking a few steps at therapy and everyone telling me it's great."

"I know. It sucks." He wrapped his arms around her. "If I could do anything to make it better, I would."

She pulled away. "There's nothing you can do. But I'm glad you're going back to work tomorrow. At least one of us can get on with our lives."

"I hate the idea of leaving you here by yourself. If you need anything just call, okay?"

"I will be fine. Don't worry." She yawned. "I'm going to go upstairs for a little while."

"Shay," he said, and she made her way toward the stairs, "Just because I'm going back to work doesn't mean I'm not going to be here for you. Don't shut me out."

"I won't," she said. He didn't believe her. She was starting to drift away, and he knew he had to do something to help.

When he got to the firehouse the next day, he pulled Mills aside and asked if he was still up for hanging out with Shay and fixing her dinner.

"Definitely," he said. "When were you thinking?"

"Would tomorrow be too soon?"

"No not at all. You have big plans?"

"Not really. I think Casey and I are gonna go to Molly's or something, but I think Shay really needs to spend time with someone other than me."

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know. She's been really down lately. She is making progress, but she's frustrated that it's taking so long. She needs to be told from someone other than me that's she's doing great. Maybe that'll make her feel better."

"I'll do my best."

The next day Mills made good on his promise and fixed dinner for Shay.

"You know you don't have to babysit me," she said as he finished preparing the food. "I would have been fine by myself."

"I'm not babysitting you. I'm keeping my promise to make you dinner. Now try this," he said, sliding a plate of food towards her.

She took a bite, and instantly perked up. "Oh my God! This is amazing!"

"I knew it would make you feel better."

"I have to say," she said between bites, "You are a much better cook than Kelly. I mean, he can make a sandwich, but that's about it."

"Why do you think I still cook for all the guys at 51? Also, I brought this," he said, pulling a pie out of the fridge. "My sister made it, but I can make one just as good."

"Peter Mills, you can come over whenever you want."

They made small talk as they finished eating. She asked about all the guys at the firehouse, and he asked about her therapy.

"It's hard. The doctor tells me I'm doing great, but I feel like I'm never going to get back to where I was. You're back at work, Severide went back... I'm afraid that I'm going to get replaced."

"You're not going to be replaced. Everyone talks about you all the time and how much they miss you. Just keep working, and you'll be back soon."

"I hope so."

"Have you thought about talking to someone?"

"Like a shrink?"

"Yeah. It might help."

"I don't need a shrink. What I need is to take my pain meds." After she took the pills, Mills asked to see the bottle.

"Shay, these are really strong meds."

"I know. I am a paramedic, remember? I take them the way the doctor said."

"Okay, but maybe you should start to cut down on them."

"I'll try. But really, I'm fine. I'm not addicted or anything."

"I know. I just want you to get healthy."

"Thanks, Mills. I've enjoyed hanging out tonight. I'm sorry that our friendship started by us almost dying though."

"Yeah that was unfortunate," he joked, "But I've enjoyed it, too. I don't have that many friends so this has been nice."

"You should come over again soon. And bring more food."

"Sure. Looks like Severide has some competition."

"I wouldn't be so cocky," she laughed. "You are a better cook, but you and I have been friends for like 10 minutes."

"I know. Go easy on Severide, though. He's really worried about you."

"I will. I'll see you later," she said walking to the door.

"Oh, and seriously, look into getting a milder pain killer."

"Okay- bye Mills," she said, practically pushing him out the door. She had enjoyed his company, but she was exhausted. She went upstairs and before crawling into bed she looked at her bottle of pain killers. She definitely didn't need a lower dose. If anything she needed more. She popped another pill out of the container and swallowed. She wasn't doing anything wrong. And if her pain lessened, then she could get back to work faster.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Shay was doing so much better at physical therapy. Her leg wasn't hurting nearly as bad and the doctors said that she might be cleared for work soon.

Severide saw a change in her, too. He knew she was happier, and he was glad that she was doing better.

"Hey Mills," he said before their shift started, "I don't know what you said or did for Shay the other night, but she's been doing a lot better."

"Really? That's great."

"She's been doing better at therapy and they said she should be able to come back to work in the next few weeks."

"I'm glad she's doing better," he said, not so enthusiastically. He was worried about Shay, and he wasn't sure it was his place, but he finally decided to say something.

"Hey, Severide, is she still taking the painkillers?"

"Yeah, why?"

"How many is she taking?"

"I think she's just taking a few. She's been following the doctor's instructions."

"Are you sure?"

"What are you trying to say, Mills?"

"The meds that she's on are strong. Do you think she's doing better in therapy because she's been taking more pills?"

"Part of a building collapsed on her leg. Of course she's on painkillers. You were on pain killers!"

"Yeah, and I stopped taking them. She said she was going to cut back. I'm worried that she's addicted."

"Don't be worried. She wouldn't abuse the pills. She almost ended our friendship when I wouldn't stop taking pills. She's fine."

"I just want to make sure she's okay."

"I know that you guys are friends now, but I know her a hell of a lot better than you do. Just be happy that she's improving." He stormed out the door and almost ran over Dawson.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing."

"You clearly said something that pissed Severide off."

Mills sighed. The only person that knew Shay as well as Severide was Dawson. Maybe she would believe him.

"If I tell you something will you promise not to say anything?"

"This sounds serious."

"It is. I think Shay may be addicted to pain killers."

"What? That's a pretty serious accusation. Are you sure?"

"No, I'm not completely sure, but she's been on a pretty heavy dose since the accident. She told me she would start cutting back, but she hasn't. Severide said she's been doing better at therapy and that makes me think she's taking more."

"Just because she's doing better doesn't mean she's abusing her meds."

"I know, but if she needs help, then I want her to get it now before it gets any worse."

"You're really worried, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"I'll talk to her. It doesn't really sound like Shay, but I want to make sure she's okay."

"Thanks, Dawson."

Dawson showed up at Shay's with food and a movie. "Hey girl," she said. "I thought you'd like some company."

Shay gave Dawson the biggest hug. "I have missed you so much. Don't get me wrong, I love Kelly, but I've missed my girl."

"I heard you may be able to come back to work soon," Dawson said.

"Yeah, I'm doing a lot better. The physical therapist has been pleased. I really want to come back to work- I miss everyone."

"I can't wait for you to come back. It's lonely being the only girl in the house."

"Dawson, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Did you stay at 51 because of me? Because I don't want you to stay because of guilt or sympathy or-"

"Stop. Leslie Shay, I stayed because I wanted to. I realized I didn't need to be a firefighter. I wanted to stay at 51. You, Casey, and everyone else I care about is there. Besides, medical school is still a possibility and that's what I'm really passionate about."

"I'm glad you stayed. I just wanted to make sure it was what you wanted."

"So can I ask you something now?"

"Sure."

Dawson prepared herself. She didn't want to get in a fight with Shay, but she needed to make sure her friend was okay. "Are you really fine?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You put up this front because you don't want others to know that you're hurting. If you're in pain or need help, I'm here."

"Did Severide ask you to talk to me?"

"No, Mills did. He said he's worried about you. He said you're taking some strong painkillers."

"I really wish he hadn't said anything. I'm fine. Really. Yes, I'm still on painkillers. They help me get through the day. Sometimes I do take too many, but I will cut down on them."

"It would make me feel better if you did."

"I promise I will. Now can we watch the movie?"

Shay fell asleep before the movie ended, and Dawson took that opportunity to sneak into her bathroom. The bottle of Vicodin was sitting on the counter. The date on the prescription was pretty recent, but when she picked up the bottle, it was almost empty.

"Damn, Shay, how many of these do you take a day?" She said to herself. She opened the medicine cabinet, and found a bottle of OxyContin, too. It was full, but the fact that Shay had this proved that she had a problem. "Mills was right. You need help."

She gently woke Shay to let her know she was going home. "Don't get up. I'll see you later."

"Thanks for coming over. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Dawson told Casey everything when she got home. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but he could tell she was really upset, and she thought he might be able help. The two of them updated Mills on the situation before their next shift.

"I really hoped I was wrong," Mills told Dawson and Casey.

"You did a good thing, Mills," Casey told him. "She needs help. Does Severide know about this?"

"Do I know about what?" Severide said, walking into the locker room. "What's going on?"

"Shay and the painkillers," Dawson said. "She has a problem, Severide."

"Oh not you, too. I told Mills this before- yes, she takes painkillers, but she's fine. And you told Casey? Did you all tell Boden, too?"

"I found the bottles in her bathroom. She had gone through almost an entire bottle in just a few days. And she had a bottle of Oxy."

"What? Where did she get that?"

"I don't know. She has friends at the hospital. Maybe someone there gave it to her."

"Are you sure about this? Because she seems fine at home."

"I'm sure," Dawson told him. "She even told me she sometimes takes too many. I got the feeling she wanted to talk to me, but I think she was scared."

"So we were thinking that if we all approached her together she might talk to us," Mills told him.

Severide sat down on the bench and put his head in his lap just trying to process everything. "How could I not have known. I live with her. She's my best friend. I should have known."

"I think you just didn't want to see it," Casey said. "You care about her so much that you didn't want to see that she had a problem."

"But I'm supposed to help her. I'm supposed to be there for her even when she doesn't want me to be."

"You will be helping her," Dawson said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "We'll confront her together, and just let her know that we love her and we're going to help her."

"Do you think that's what's best for her? Maybe I should try to talk to her."

"No," Casey said. "It won't work unless we're all together."

"Okay. Lord knows I haven't done much to help her so far."

"You have helped her," Dawson said. "This isn't your fault. We've just gotta get her healthy."

He nodded. "I love her so much. I'll do anything to help her."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Severide was scared. What if this plan backfired? What if Shay felt ganged up on and wouldn't confide in him? What if she never forgave him? Everyone kept telling him the this was the right thing to do. They needed to do an intervention before it got worse. He didn't know what he would do if he found her one day passed out -or worse- from taking too many pills.

"She'll be home soon," he said, as Mills, Casey, Dawson, and he waited. "I hope she doesn't hate me."

Casey put his arm on his shoulder reassuringly. "You're doing this because you care about her."

Just then the door opened and Shay walked in. "Hey guys. What's going on? Are we all going to Molly's or something?"

"No, Shay, we're not going to Molly's," Severide said. "Why don't you sit down?" He really didn't want to do this.

"No, I'm fine. Why don't you tell me why you're all here."

"Shay," Dawson said as lovingly as possible, "We're all here because we love you and want to help you. We think you have a problem with painkillers."

"Seriously?" Shay screamed. "You all are still on this? I'm fine! I'm a paramedic. I know how to use painkillers."

"I found the bottles in your bathroom. You're using way more than prescribed. And Oxy? Shay, I know the doctor didn't give you those."

"You went snooping through my stuff? The night you came over... Did you really want to spend time with me or did you just want to see how many pills I was taking?"

"Of course I wanted to spend time with you! You're my best friend. I want to help you."

"She cares about you," Casey said, "We all do."

"You care about me, Casey?"

"Of course, I do Shay. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"When's the last time we hung out? When's the last time we talked- just the two of us? About something other than Dawson? You never came and checked on me. That's not a friendship."

At this point she was choking back tears. How dare they all gang up on her and accuse her of being a drug addict?

"You're right," he said. "I haven't been a very good friend lately, but I'm trying to change that. Let us help you."

"I don't need your help," she said, getting angry. "I don't need any of you." She turned to Severide, "How could you? You're supposed to be on my side. You're supposed to be my best friend. Support me." She was crying now. The thought of Severide turning against her was too much. He was supposed to always believe in her.

"I am your best friend, Shay. I love you so much and this whole thing is scaring the hell out of me."

"My best friend wouldn't turn on me and invite other people into my home and accuse me of being a loser drug addict.

"That's not fair," Mills said. "Severide didn't want to do this. We convinced him it was the right thing to do." He walked closer to her, and tried to reach for her hand but she walked away. "We don't think you're a loser. We think you just need some help. Let your friends help you."

"Come on, Mills. We both know that we wouldn't be friends if we hadn't been trapped together. You just feel responsible for me since you were stuck with me in that building. You don't really want my friendship."

"Of course, I do, Shay!"

"None of you need to worry about me! I release you all of your obligation. I'm sure you all can do something better with your time than worry about poor Leslie Shay."

She ran towards the door with tears running down her face and her hands shaking. She almost got out, but Severide grabbed her arm. He could feel her shaking. He had never seen her like this. She was so broken and so scared.

"Let go of me, Kelly."

"I'm not letting you leave. Shay, please, just let me help you. Tell me what I can do."

"I need the pills. I'm in pain everyday, and they help. I promise I'll stop once the pain goes away, and I can go back to work."

He could feel that she was breaking down. She was starting to let him in. He grabbed her other hand, and pulled her close. "You don't need the pills. Remember when I was taking drugs for my neck? You helped me realize that it was wrong. You helped me then. Let me help you now."

She shook her head. "It's different. You had surgery, and you were as good as new. I'm not going to have surgery. All I have is pain. I can't go back to work unless I make the pain stop."

"You're not going back to work if you're on the painkillers. Boden won't let you."

Shay let go of Severide's hands and stepped back. "You told Boden?"

"No," Severide said as fast as he could. "No, we didn't tell him."

"But you're going to?" She said, just barely above a whisper.

"We just want to do what's best for you," Dawson said.

"How could you all betray me like this?"

Severide could see the pain and confusion on her face, and he tried to grab her again, but she pulled away.

"Leave me alone! I don't need any of you. Just leave me alone!" She ran out the door before Severide could stop her.

"Damnit!" He screamed. "I knew this was a bad idea! I should have talked to her myself! I could have gotten through to her." He reached for his phone and his wallet and headed towards the door. "I'm going to go find her."

"I'll go with you," Mills said.

"No. All of you just need to go home. I'll find her and bring her home. I'll fix this."

Shay walked as fast as she could through the streets of Chicago. She made her way down to the water, her favorite spot. She remembered being here just a few months ago when her life was falling apart. Dawson rescued her then, but she wouldn't be coming now. No one would.

She found a bench and as soon as she sat down she started sobbing. She couldn't believe that she had said all those horrible things to everyone. They probably all hated her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up to see Herrman standing next to her.

"Herrman, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. What's wrong?"

"I've messed everything up," she cried. "I've pushed everyone away, and I've done something really stupid."

He sat down next her, and said, "Well it can't be that bad. Why don't you tell me what's going on, and then we can fix it. I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"I've been taking pills- painkillers- for my leg ever since the accident," Shay told Hermann in between sobs. "I was taking them the way the doctor told me to and then I started taking a few more... I just wanted the pain to go away... I think I have a problem."

"Okay," he said. "It's going to be okay. I'm going to go find Cindy- she just took the kids on a walk. We only have two of them today. Do you know how easy two kids are? Anyway, I'm going to tell her that I'm taking you home."

"No. I can't go home. I said awful things to Mills, Casey, Dawson, and Severide. Especially Severide. They probably hate me."

"Listen, Shay, we all say things we don't mean. We all get into fights and we all go through stuff, but we're a family."

"Christopher, I think the kids are hungry," Herrmann's wife said. "Oh hi Leslie. Do you want to join us?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you."

"Actually, why don't you take the kids out to eat? I'm going to take Shay back to our place for a little while."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Shay said as she forced a smile. "I don't want to interrupt your plans."

"As far as I'm concerned we owe you one. You helped Cindy when she was pregnant."

"Are you sure?"

"It's fine," Cindy assured her.

When Herrmann and Shay got to his place, he went to the kitchen to get her some food. She looked like she hadn't eaten in weeks. He also called Severide to let him know that Shay was safe.

"Here," he said, handing her the sandwich.

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat. You look like you're wasting away." He waited until she took a few bites before saying, "I called Severide."

"Does he hate me?"

"No. He's worried sick about you. He said that you just ran off and no one knew where you went."

"I thought he would hate me."

He sat down next to her. "Like I said before, we're a family. You and Severide have fought before, right?"

She nodded.

"And you've always gotten past it. He loves you."

"I love him. I just got scared. And I was ashamed. I'm a paramedic who has a problem with painkillers."

"You messed up. But you'll get through this. We're going to help you."

They talked for a little longer, and then he let her sleep. She needed the rest. Not long after, Severide came to get her.

"How is she?" Kelly asked.

"She needs her friends right now especially you. But I think she's going to be okay. She knows she has a problem, and she wants help."

"Thank you for talking to her, and thanks for calling me."

Severide shook Shay gently trying to ease her awake. "It's time to go home, Shay."

"Kelly?" She asked, trying to wake up.

"Yeah. It's me."

"I'm sorry," she said, sitting up. "I'm sorry for all the things I said. I'm sorry that I pushed you away."

"It's okay," he said, squeezing her hand. "We can talk more about this at home, but I'm not mad. There isn't anything you could say to make me stop loving you."

When they got home, he took her up to her room and they sat down on her bed. "Why didn't you think you could talk to me about this?"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted the pain to go away. I wanted everything to go back to normal."

"And you thought pills were the answer?"

"It was stupid. Like I told Herrmann, it started out as just one or two extra, but then I couldn't stop."

"You could have told me. I would have helped you."

"I felt like such a hypocrite. I moved out when you were using painkillers. And I was doing the exact same thing you did."

"See, there's a reason by we're best friends. We're so much alike- we even have the same problems," he joked.

She smiled. "Thanks for wanting to help me. I really am sorry."

"Stop apologizing. I was never mad at you. Will you just promise me that you won't keep anything else from me?"

"I won't. Thanks for being my best friend."

She leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you, and I don't know what I would do without you," he said.

"I love you, too."

He kissed her forehead. "Get some sleep. We're going to get you off these pills and get you back to work."

He turned off the lights in her room and watched as she went to sleep. He quietly closed the door and sat down in front of her door. The tears he had been holding back slowly streamed down his face. He couldn't believe this was happening.

After a few minutes he quietly opened her bedroom door, and she was peacefully sleeping. She was going to go through withdrawals soon, but at least she was getting rest now. He went downstairs and tried to find something to watch on tv, but he couldn't focus. He finally gave up and went to bed. A few hours later, he heard Shay in the bathroom.

It was what he thought: she was in withdrawal. After she finished getting sick, she looked up at him. "Kelly, you don't have to be here. I'm fine."

He grabbed a washcloth, and he leaned down and put it on her face. She was clammy and she was shaking. "You don't have to be strong, Shay. Lean on me."

"I'm so cold."

"I'll get you a blanket." When he came back with a blanket and a glass of Sprite, she had just finished getting sick again.

"Here," he said, handing her the glass. "It'll help."

After a few minutes, she said she felt better and thought she could go back to sleep. He helped her up and wrapped the blanket around her because she was still shivering. He helped her climb into bed, and he was about to leave when she grabbed his arm.

"Kelly, will you stay with me? I need you."

It was the first time since all of this started that she admitted she needed help. It was progress. Finally. "Yeah. Of course I'll stay."

He climbed into the other side of the bed and wrapped his arms around her. "You're going to be okay," he assured her as they both drifted off to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When Severide woke up he was surprised to find Shay gone. "Shay?" He yelled, running down the stairs. He was relieved to find her sitting at the table eating breakfast.

"Did you think I ran away?" she asked, amused by how worried he was.

"No, I... Okay fine. Maybe I overreacted a little. How are you feeling?"

"Actually pretty good. I thought eating breakfast would help settle my stomach. I'm sorry about last night. I know you didn't get much sleep."

"It's okay. I was glad you let me in."

"I was glad that you stayed with me. It made me feel better."

He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "I'm here whenever you need me. I'm glad you're starting to feel better though."

She nodded. "Me, too."

The next couple of weeks Severide watched Shay as close as he could, and he was so proud of all the progress she had made. She was finally figuring out how to deal with the pain without the pills.

The day had finally come for Shay to meet with her doctor to see if she could go back to work. She hadn't told Kelly because she didn't want him to know until she knew for sure she could be a paramedic again.

"Hi Leslie," the doctor said as she entered the room. "I've looked over your file, and I've talked to your physical therapist. Your physical therapist said you're doing great, but that you were abusing your pain killers?"

She nodded. "I was, but I'm not anymore. I promise. I'm not talking any more pills."

"Do you still feel pain?"

"A little," she admitted, "but I'm working through it. I wouldn't be asking to go back to work if I wasn't ready."

"Well your physical therapist thinks that you're ready. I've actually already talked to your Chief and his superiors, and you can start back to work in two weeks."

Shay couldn't believe it. "Really? Thank you so much!"

"However, there are conditions. You will have to submit weekly drug tests-"

"That's fine. Like I said, I'm not taking the pills anymore."

"And I would like for you to see a counselor."

"What? I don't need to do that."

"I think it will help especially after you go back to work. Going back to work after an injury like yours is going to be emotionally and physically hard. Talking to someone will help."

Shay really didn't want to see a counselor. How would talking about her feelings with a total stranger help? But she didn't think it was an option.

"Okay. If it means I can go back to work, I'll do it."

Severide wasn't at the house when she got home, but he texted her and told her that he hanging out with Casey today and a bunch of the guys were going to Molly's later. He told her to come, but she texted back and said she wasn't in the mood.

She wished he was home so she could tell him that she was coming back to work, but she would just have to wait until tomorrow. She didn't think she had the energy to go to Molly's, but she was hungry.

She decided to go to the Mills family diner hoping to run into Mills. She hadn't seen him since the day he confronted her about being on painkillers, and she wasn't proud of the things she said.

Luckily Mills was right behind the counter when she walked in, and he smiled when he saw her.

"Shay! What are you doing here?"

"I was hungry, and I was hoping that you would be here."

"Well you came to the right place- for both food and company. What would you like to eat?"

When he brought the food out, which was delicious, she started apologizing. "Mills, I'm really sorry for what I said to you."

"Don't worry about it. It's fine."

"No, it's not. I know you were just worried about me, and I said things I didn't mean. Will you forgive me?"

"Of course. For the record, I have enjoyed being your friend. I don't dot because I feel guilty or responsible."

"I know you don't. I didn't mean what I said. I've enjoyed being your friend, too."

"So I get off in 15 minutes. I think a bunch of the guys are going to Molly's tonight. Wanna come with me?"

"Severide already asked me to come, but I just don't feel up to it. I need to save my energy."

"Why? Everything okay?"

"Everything's great. Actually, I got some really good news today. If I tell you, you can't tell anyone. I haven't even told Kelly yet."

"You're telling me something you haven't even told Severide? Now I'm really interested."

"The doctor told me that I've been cleared to come back to work. I start in two weeks."

"Wow. That's great," he said, sounding not at all surprised.

"Ok. I thought you'd be a little more excited."

"No, I am excited for you. I know how much you want to come back to 51. It's just... We found out a few days ago that you were coming back."

"What? How did you all know? I didn't find out until today!"

"Boden told Severide during our last shift. Apparently Boden met with your doctor and she said she was going to clear you."

"I can't believe Severide knew and he didn't tell me!"

"He told the rest of us though. The thing at Molly's tonight? It's a surprise party for you. I was supposed to convince you to go."

"So basically I have to go tonight."

"I think it would be good for you. And everyone really wants to see you. The firehouse hasn't been the same without you."

"Fine."

He smiled. "Great. Finish eating and then we can run by your place so you can change."

Shay looked at herself in the mirror. She had chosen a dress, but she wasn't sure she wanted to wear it. All she could concentrate on was the huge scar on her leg.

She walked down the stairs to ask Mills if the dress looked okay, but he complimented her before she could say anything.

"Wow," he said, "You look nice."

"Really? You think the dress is okay? I feel like all you can see is the huge scar on my leg."

"Trust me. No one is going to be looking at that scar."

"Okay. I'm ready, I guess. I still can't believe that you all knew I was coming back to work before I did."

"To be fair, I don't think Boden actually wanted everyone to know. That was all Severide. Also, could you not tell everyone I told you about this party? It's supposed to be a surprise."

"Apparently no one in my life can keep a secret."

She tried to act surprised when they arrived at Molly's, but she didn't do a very good job. Severide knew immediately that Mills ruined the surprise.

"You told her? Remind me never to tell you a secret again."

"I had to," Mills said, "It was the only way I could get her to come."

"It doesn't matter," Shay said. "This was really sweet. Thank you all. I'm so excited to come back to work!"

"And we are all so excited to have you back," Hermann said from behind the bar. He handed her a beer. "Wait, you can drink, right?"

"Yes, it's fine. Thanks for taking care of me. That day you saw me..."

"Hey," he said, interrupting, "We all go through rough times. If you need to talk, just let me know."

She smiled. "Thanks." She then felt someone come up from behind and pull her into a hug. It was Dawson.

"I am so happy to have my partner back! Seriously, you have no idea."

"I do," Casey said, joining their conversation. "It's all she's talked about since going back to work."

"I'm glad you all still want me back. I'm so sorry for all the things I said.

"Stop. This is a party to celebrate you. Now come on, let's celebrate!"

Shay had so much fun. It was nice to be around everyone and not worry about anything. Near the end of the night she was finally able to get Severide by himself.

"I can't believe you knew I was coming back to work, and you kept it a secret!"

"I wanted to tell you so bad, but Boden said not to. And I wanted to throw you this party."

"This was great. Thank you so much. Not just for tonight, but for everything. I know that I haven't made this easy on you."

"I'm just glad you're better. You have fun tonight?"

"I did. I'm getting tired, though."

"Let's make one more round then we'll head home."

She nodded and took his hand as he lead her around the bar. She looked around and couldn't believe how lucky she was. She had the best friends in the world.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys! Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I have loved writing this story, but I think it's run it's course. I'm going to write one more chapter after this one to wrap everything up. Hope you enjoy! Please review!

Chapter 12

Shay was very quiet during the ride to the firehouse. She was excited to go back to work, but she was nervous. Would she be able to keep up? Would her leg start to hurt during the shift?

Severide could sense that she was nervous. "You're going to be fine," he said.

"I know. It's just strange being back after so long."

He parked the car in front of 51. "It's okay if you're a little scared, but we're all here for you. If you need something just let me or Dawson know."

She nodded. "I will."

"Ready?"

"Yeah. As ready as I'll ever be."

They walked in together with Severide's arm around her. "Hey everyone," he shouted. "Look who's finally back!"

They took turns hugging her and celebrating. Everyone seemed happy especially Dawson. "My partner in crime is back!" She screamed and pulled her into the biggest hug Shay had ever had.

"I was so excited at the end of the last shift. I think I hurt Shout's feelings."

Then Chief Boden appeared out of his office. "Leslie Shay," he said.

"Yes, Chief," she said, suddenly getting nervous.

He smiled. "Welcome back."

"Thanks, Chief. Glad to be back."

"You should go get ready. Dawson, Severide, can I talk to you in my office for a minute?"

The two of them followed the Chief into his office and sat down.

"What's going on, Chief?" Severide asked.

"I just want the two of you to keep a close watch on Shay today. I know she was cleared to come back, but it may be harder for her than she thinks."

"Yeah, Chief," he said, "You know I'm always watching out for her. No problem."

"Yeah, no problem," Dawson added.

While the Chief was talking to Dawson and Severide, Shay was in the locker room changing and trying to mentally prepare for the day. She sat down on the bench and pulled her pant leg up just enough to see her leg. It was healed, but there was still a huge, nasty scar that she would have for the rest of her life.

Just then the door opened and Casey walked in. "Oh I'm sorry, Shay. I was just looking for Dawson."

She quickly pulled her pant leg down to cover the scar. "She's with the chief. He wanted to tell Dawson and Severide to baby-sit me."

"I'm sure that's not what he said."

She gave a small smile. "Yeah, probably not."

"Your leg looks like it's healing."

"Except I have a huge, ugly scar on it."

"It's not that bad."

"Thanks. Casey, are we okay?"

"Of course. You've apologized a thousand times. And besides, you were right."

"No I wasn't. You're a great friend."

"But all of our conversations have revolved around Dawson."

"So let's change that. Let's hang out one night soon. Just you and me. No Dawson or Kelly."

"Sure. It's a date. Well... Sort of."

Just then the alarms went off alerting them that they had a call.

"Ready?" He asked.

"We'll find out," she replied, running to the ambulance.

The first call was pretty easy for Shay. It was a small fire with some minor injuries. Shay was glad that she could slowly ease back into her role as a paramedic.

"I have a date with your fiancé," she told Dawson on the way to back to 51.

"What? When did this happen?"

"This morning. We had a little chat while you and Kelly were in with Boden. We decided that we needed to do something by ourselves."

"Sounds like a plan. Don't try anything though. He's mine!" Dawson joked.

"I'm so glad that you decided to stay at 51. I couldn't imagine riding around in this ambulance with anyone other than you."

"Same here. So can you try not to get yourself injured again?"

"I'll try my best."

Shay wasn't so lucky with the next call. It was a much bigger fire. Luckily most of the injuries were minor, but it was taking Squad a long time to come out. Shay helped Dawson treat all the minor injuries, but she couldn't help worry about Severide. Then the smoke turned black and her worries intensified.

"51! Everyone out now!" Boden yelled into the radio.

A few seconds later, most of Squad appeared, but Severide wasn't there.

"Mills! Where's Kelly?"

"He was right behind me. He was helping a girl who has a broken leg." He could sense that she was worried so he put his arm on her shoulder. "He'll be out in a minute. He's okay."

As soon as he finished talking, Severide appeared from the burning building carrying the girl.

"Kelly!" She screamed, relieved to see him. Mills laughed as she ran to be with Severide. No matter how close he and Shay had become since the accident he could never compete with Kelly Severide.

After Dawson took the girl from Severide and put her on a gurney, he collapsed. His legs just gave out.

"Dawson!" Shay screamed, panicking, "Kelly needs help!"

"No, I'm fine."

"You just collapsed. You're not fine."

"I'm just tired. Maybe a little dehydrated, but I'm fine."

"Get in the ambulance!"

"What?"

"You heard me. Get in the ambulance. You're getting checked out."

"Okay, Mom," he joked, but Shay wasn't having it. She glared at him before hopping in the driver's seat.

"Someone's in a bad mood," he whispered to Dawson.

"Just humor her. It's her first shift back."

When they arrived at the hospital, the doctors took Severide back for a exam. Dawson and Shay took a seat in the waiting room.

"Are you okay?" Dawson asked her friend.

"What do you mean?"

"You did sort of overreact about Severide."

"I did, didn't I? Oh God, I feel so stupid."

"I get it, Shay, I do. If it was you or Casey, I would have overreacted, too. I just want to make sure you're ready to be back."

"I am. Really. I just forgot how hard it is to watch your best friend go into a burning building. When he didn't come out, I got scared. That combined with everything else... I'm sorry I freaked out, Dawson."

She pulled Shay into a hug. "You don't need to apologize. I just want you to be okay."

She nodded. "I will be."

It didn't take Severide long to be cleared to go back to work. He wanted to talk to Shay, but he wanted to wait until they got back to the firehouse. He didn't think the ambulance was the best place for a heart-to-heart. When they arrived back at work, he practically dragged her to his office.

"Kelly, whatever this is, it can wait. I'm tired."

"It can't wait," he said, closing his office door. "I want to know if maybe you came back too soon."

"You and Dawson should coordinate your conversations with me. We already had this same discussion," she said, sitting down on the bed in his office.

"I'm sorry I freaked out on you. I shouldn't have made you go to the hospital. I was just so worried about you that I couldn't think straight."

"Did it feel like your heart stopped? Like you couldn't breathe?"

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"Because that is how I felt the whole time you were in the hospital," he said, grabbing her hand. "It's a terrible feeling."

"Oh Kelly, I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain."

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing?"

"Sorry," she said, and then laughed. "I'm fine. Really. Like I told Dawson, I just wasn't expecting my best friend to collapse on my first day back."

"I'm fine. And your fine. So, so far this day as been a success."

"I'm just so tired. This shift has worn me out."

"Do you want to sleep here? I have some paperwork to do. I can do it while you sleep in my bed."

"You don't care?"

"No. Just don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone else thinking they can crash in the Lieutenant's office."

"Deal," she said, lying down.

He pulled a blanket over her and watched her as she closed her eyes and drifted off. He was so glad to have his best friend back with him at the firehouse. She was the most loving, caring person he had ever met, and he was going to do his best to make sure she was never hurt again.


	13. Chapter 13

Epilogue

The one year anniversary of the building explosion hit Shay hard. She had trouble sleeping especially the night before. Every time she closed her eyes she heard an explosion or imagined being trapped again. In her last dream, she couldn't escape the building. She was screaming for help, but no one came to help her. She woke up in a panic. It was way too early to get ready for work, but she couldn't sleep anymore. She hopped in the shower, changed, and then left a note for Severide telling him she would see him at the firehouse later.

She went and got a coffee and then headed to Firehouse 51. She put her stuff into her locker, and then she ended up looking at the badges that were on the wall. Andy Darden's was the last one up there. She had come so close to having her badge right next to his.

She felt a hand gently touch her back. It was Mills. "Looks like we had the same idea," he said.

"Yeah," she said, wiping tears off her face. "I just keep thinking how close I- we- came to having our badges on the wall. They would have been right next to Andy's."

"My dad's is here, too."

"Oh, Mills, I'm sorry. I didn't even think-"

"It's okay. I like to think he was watching out for me that day. And you, too."

"Why would he be watching out for me?"

"Because you're important to me. Everyone in 51 is."

"I'm glad that we're friends. The one good thing that came out of all of this is that I've gotten to know you better."

"Come here," he said, pulling her into a hug.

"Peter Mills, are we having a moment?"

He laughed. "I think we are. Listen, I'm going to go start making breakfast. Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I'll be fine."

After Mills left, she stood and stood and looked at the wall of badges for a few more minutes. She was snapped out of her trance when she heard Severide yelling her name.

"I was worried about you," he said.

"Didn't you get my note?"

"Yeah, but that didn't make me stop worrying. I heard you last night. You were having nightmares."

"Oh, I didn't think I woke you up. I'm sorry."

"Shay, I'm not worried about my lack of sleep. I know what today is, and I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm still standing. I just keep telling myself that I'm really lucky that I'm alive, and that my badge isn't on this wall."

He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Thank God you're still here. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she said. "Okay, I can't talk about this anymore or I'm going to cry again. I'm going to go get ready for our shift. See you in a few minutes."

After she was gone, Severide looked at Darden's badge on the wall. He remembered how much pain he had been in after they lost Andy, but he had pulled through, mostly because of Shay. If Shay's badge had ended up next to Andy's he wouldn't have made it. There was no way he could come to work everyday and look at her empty locker or see another paramedic driving the ambo. There was so one else in the world that understood Severide like she did.

"Thank you, Andy," he said. "Thank you for saving her."

After their shift ended, Severide offered to take Shay wherever she wanted, but she just wanted to go home. They ended up on the couch watching a movie.

"Congratulations," he said.

"For what?"

"For making it through the toughest year of your life. I am so proud of you."

"I wouldn't have survived without you. You're the best friend I could ever ask for, Kelly. I love you."

She made it all of 20 minutes before falling asleep. He knew she was exhausted from her nightmares so he let her sleep. She looked so peaceful. Finally. He prayed that the next year would be easier for all of them, and he promised that he would never take his beautiful best friend for granted ever again.

Thank you so much for reading this story! I really enjoyed writing it. The ending was hard for me because of the impending death on the premiere tomorrow, but I hope you liked it! I'm praying that the episode tomorrow night isn't too heart wrenching.


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